Missing Piece
by Vicky-V
Summary: The effect of Morgana's departure on Gwen suddenly becomes clear, so Arthur decides that enough is enough. ArthurxGwenxLancelotxMerlinxMorgana and other combinations.


**Pairing:** ArthurxGwenxLancelotxMerlinxMorgana, with past OT4 (ArthurxGwenxMerlinxMorgana) and other combinations.

**Word Count:** 3,694

**Notes:** Future fic.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

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**Missing Piece**

It was by chance that Lancelot heard about the passing of King Uther Pendragon. He had been passing a group of women as they walked back from a market and up a hill towards a small group of dwellings. All he heard were a few words, ("Uther." "Camelot." "King Arthur."), but it was more than enough to grab his attention.

He knew he scared them when he suddenly turned and started asking, practically demanding, every detail they knew and where they gained it from. They told him they heard it from a trader in the market before hurrying away and he dashed towards where they had gestured. While he travelled back to Camelot, Lancelot took every opportunity he could to gather information, which was mostly the same thing. King Uther had died, poisoned some said. Camelot was now under the rule of King Arthur and hardly anybody Lancelot spoke to ever had any criticism of him. He had married some maid girl, a few said with restrained disgust which Lancelot didn't share, although he had to admit to being surprised even if he did consider it just rumour.

When he finally arrived back in Camelot, it seemed different but it took him a while to realise exactly why. It was when he passed a man entertaining children in the street with magic did he realise Arthur must have lifted the ban. Guards walked past the man without a second glance.

Merlin practically charged him when he came out of the castle and saw Lancelot approaching. He managed to knock him to the ground when he shamelessly flung his arms around Lancelot's shoulders. Merlin had matured and was surer of himself in his speech. But he was still tall, still scrawny, still looked as though he needed a few good meals in him and still had some of that boyish charm about him. Lancelot noticed he still wrapped a red scarf around his neck.

He had taken Lancelot into the castle and to the throne room where Arthur was being shown what sounded like some sort of treaty, judging from the end of the conversation he managed to catch. Arthur had looked up, annoyed at being disturbed at first, then upon seeing Lancelot shock washed over his face. Then he smiled, pushed the papers into the hands of the man it appeared he was arguing with and stepped forward to embrace Lancelot, though not with as much force as Merlin had.

Arthur's appearance had matured a lot more than Merlin's, which Lancelot suspected was due to finding himself responsible for an entire kingdom of people. His eyes were gentle yet focused and the way he stood with the crown on his head looked so _right_. Lancelot knew he had already seen what so many strangers told him as he travelled back. Arthur was a good king.

xxx

Some things had changed in Camelot, but not all for the better. Sometimes, when time was their own, Lancelot saw that something was missing and it was something Arthur, Merlin and Gwen all felt. It was only for a moment and then they would seem fine again, often leaving him wondering if he had just been imagining things.

It bothered him the most when he saw it in Gwen. Sometimes it was as though she were somewhere else, somewhere he couldn't follow. But she would smile afterwards, tell him it was fine and stroke the back of his hand. He never pressed on whatever the issue was, just tried to keep a close eye on her and make sure she was okay.

Gwen kept insisting she was fine, even on that day when she clearly wasn't. That was the day Lancelot knew he should have done more for her. One moment she was standing, then took her hand to her forehead and told him she felt strange. She was dizzy and swayed on her feet. A haze came over her eyes and she looked confused, then afraid.

Then, suddenly, she fell. Lancelot landed heavy on his knees with her in his arms.

xxx

The physicians quarters were almost how Lancelot remembered them being under Gaius. But since Merlin had taken over after his death, things had become a lot more cluttered. In comparison, Merlin appeared to have become more organised in his own way. He had developed an interest in all the work Gaius had been doing and extended greatly on it. The tables and shelves were piled with notes he had taken and specimens he kept which didn't look organised at all. But Lancelot had seen how Merlin was able to go to any pile, reach into it and pull out exactly what he wanted, so assumed he at least knew what he was doing. As carefully as Lancelot tried to observe, he never quite understood how Merlin could know exactly what was where. Then again, he wasn't any sort of physician himself. As a swordsman he knew how to bandage wounds but that was about it.

Whenever he had been in the physician's quarters before, he always watched Merlin with interest and he did now. But the interest this time was different. He watched carefully as Merlin examined Gwen; pressing two fingers against her wrist, laying his palm over her forehead and gently pulling up her eyelids. Lancelot felt as though he should be moving, doing something. _Anything._ But all he could do was stand, feeling awkward, and observe. It was his duty and his life to protect those he loved and he felt so helpless he could barely stand it.

Finally Merlin leaned back and sighed softly. It didn't sound like a good noise. He lay one hand on Gwen's and gently squeezed her smaller fingers in his. She looked as though she was just sleeping. Her face didn't look troubled anymore, but Lancelot was suddenly noticing how pale she looked and how deep the shadows underneath her eyes appeared.

"Well?" He took a step forward, then stopped. It was only when Merlin looked up at him and gestured with his head did Lancelot feel okay with being able to come forward and kneel beside Gwen.

"She collapsed because she's exhausted," Merlin told him. "Overall the trouble is more in her mind than in her body. I didn't think it had become this bad."

It sounded as though he was talking to himself during that last sentence. Lancelot supposed that was why he didn't feel right asking about it, even though he felt the curiosity heavy in his mind. Instead he just reached out and brushed back some of the hair which had fallen into Gwen's face.

There was silence between them and the moments dragged by.

"Tell me," Merlin's voice sounded heavy. "Does the name Morgana mean anything to you?"

"Lady Morgana?" Lancelot looked up into Merlin's eyes. They seemed distant, thoughtful and sad. "I didn't get to know her at all but I do recall her."

"She left. Not long before you came back. By the time you turned up, I suppose we weren't showing it as much. Arthur has the kingdom to look after and I was doing all this." He absently gestured towards all the papers and containers of things. "I hate to say it, but I was never really sure of what Gwen did. We kept an eye on each other and things always seemed fine. Considering, that is. Morgana was important to us. Just like you are now, if you see what I mean."

Lancelot nodded and began to feel as though things were making a lot more sense to him. When he returned to Camelot, he noticed that many things had changed; most for better but a few for worse. Arthur hadn't hesitated in restoring Lancelot's knighthood and the ban on magic being lifted meant Merlin looked visibly happier. Gwen's smile was softer and her beauty seemed to glow even more at Arthur's side as his queen. Although he was happy for them, Lancelot had felt something in his chest crush and hated how selfish he suspected he was being. Their coming together had united Camelot, so he should have been feeling nothing but joy for them. But couldn't.

In the presence of court, Lancelot would have never guessed otherwise, but he came to realise that Merlin was also a very equal part of their relationship. Nobody else seemed to notice, so Lancelot suspected they only let their guard down around him. It wasn't really that which bothered him, it was more finding he wasn't too surprised but couldn't for the life of him really think why. He also couldn't think why or how exactly he was pulled into it as well. But had no regrets. He learned quickly how to keep it covered as they did and, amongst other things, it felt so natural to know he would give his life to protect them without half a thought.

Upon his return, he had also noticed that the Lady Morgana was nowhere to be seen, but somehow he hadn't felt right asking.

Gwen liked to arrange flowers, often spending hours at a time doing so. Sometimes Lancelot watched her. She would stroke and nudge the petals so gently into place. Her lips moved as though she were speaking to them, but Lancelot was never able to hear what she was saying. But he was sure of the sad look in her eyes. It was one of the small things he noticed, like how Arthur would sit alone in his chambers during the evening and drank more wine than was good for him. Sometimes Merlin stayed awake all through the night, bent over papers with maps scrawled on them and thick, old books. At times Lancelot stayed with him, keeping him company until one of them fell asleep. Other nights Arthur had Lancelot stay with him in his bed. As he was falling asleep, Lancelot would sometimes see Arthur looking towards the window and the slither of night sky showing between the curtains. His lips would tighten before he looked away and pulled Lancelot on top of him. When he was with Gwen, sometimes a haze went over her eyes and she seemed to be somewhere else. Somewhere he didn't want to disturb because it looked important to her.

"When she left," Merlin said, "it hit Gwen hardest. She knew her for longer, after all. Gwen was her maidservant, but when I saw them it was more like they were best friends. Morgana always protected her."

The door suddenly flew open, banging against the wall and the sound was like thunder in the cluttered room. Arthur stormed in with his robes fluttering behind him as though they could barely keep up.

"What happened?" he demanded. His lips were pulled back to reveal clenched teeth and his eyes blazed with what looked like fury.

Lancelot had already stood, then he stepped aside, allowing Arthur to take his place beside Gwen. He could then see that Arthur _was_ angry. But also upset. In Arthur's eyes, Lancelot saw the same burning helplessness he felt knowing that Gwen was in pain and there was nothing he could do to help her.

"She collapsed," Merlin told him. He reached over and lightly placed a hand on Arthur's shoulder. When Arthur raised his hand, it first looked to Lancelot as though he was going to strike Merlin away. Instead he clutched his hand, running the other tentatively through Gwen's hair. "If she rests for a few days, she'll be back on her feet. But, if I'm honest, I really don't know what I can do to prevent this happening again."

Arthur's chest heaved as he exhaled deeply through his nose. His eye closed, he chewed on his bottom lip and bowed his head. Lancelot thought he saw Arthur shake his head before his eyes opened and he looked up again.

"If this is what it's going to cause," Arthur said, "then this is enough. It's more than enough."

He straightened and Merlin's hand slid off his shoulder, back to gently squeezing Gwen's fingers. Arthur was still clearly fighting his own frustration and hurt, but there was a determined look to the way his eyebrows were dipped and the way his mouth was set.

"Lancelot, you're to prepare three horses immediately. Supplies should be minimal, I don't want to be dragging around too much. Food can be easily gathered through hunting, for example. But keep in mind I don't immediately know how long it will take. Just that it's a search and recover trip. Merlin, arrange for somebody to care for Gwen until we return. You know who I trust. See if you can move her to Morgana's old room to receive further treatment. I know she still goes in there sometimes. Then assist Lancelot with the preparations. As soon as I've made the arrangements I need to see to, I'll join you as soon as I can. If I have to break every bone in that woman's body and drag her back myself, then so be it."

"She'll never let you hear the end of it if you do," said Merlin.

Arthur glared at him and kept that eye contact as he addressed both of them. "Are my orders clear?"

Merlin nodded and Lancelot replied with: "Yes sire." He knew what was happening and it made his blood rush, but not unpleasantly. It was one of the feelings he lived on, which made him feel alive and worth the vow of loyalty he took while meaning every word of it. Every letter. And it would make Gwen smile again, just as she had done when he had first met her.

"As soon as you can then."

Arthur nodded for Lancelot to follow before he left the room in a swirl of billowing robes and a look of blazing determination in his eyes. He walked silently with Lancelot to the end of the corridor before they parted ways towards what they each had to see to.

xxx

"Do you have any idea on what we're going to do at all?" Merlin asked when the three of them were assembled and carrying out the final checks. "Like which direction we're going to go in?"

"Shut up, Merlin."

"I'll take that as a no."

"You're the sorcerer," Arthur said. "I would have thought you'd know where we could go to start things off.

"I don't know _all_ the magical gatherings. If I did, I might have gone to find Morgana myself by now. If she's even with any of them."

"It's the best chance we have at the moment."

As Lancelot listened, his mind started turning. He had come across a great many things in his time travelling, both before he first came to Camelot and after. During those times he had sometimes come across small groups of people who were magical. He hadn't done anything about it before Camelot, being the sort who kept himself to himself unless an injustice was being done. Afterwards he continued to do so, but it felt more as though he were doing it through loyalty to Merlin.

He had killed two of those magical people, never knowing their names. But that was all due to them using their powers for abuse and pain towards others. That had been when Lancelot learned not every battle should be fought fairly.

Lancelot started thinking about where he would have come across those people, any of them. They had always left his mind as soon as they were out of his sight, but now it seemed one of them could be what brought success to what they were going out to achieve.

"Wait!"

When Lancelot looked up, he was surprised to see Gwen hurrying towards them. She had her hair pulled back and was clothed in a white shirt, a deep red tunic and a dark pair of breeches. Upon seeing them, Lancelot knew of her intentions.

It appeared Arthur did as well, but wasn't pleased. As he turned back to his horse, he said; "Go back inside, Gwen."

"I'm coming with you," Gwen insisted.

"You're still unwell," Arthur looked over his shoulder to her. "You need to rest and build your strength back up."

"No! I'm going to find Morgana with you."

"Don't disobey me, Gwen. Your strength isn't up nearly enough and I can't risk anything further happening to you."

"But I-"

"_Guinevere_!" His shout echoed off the buildings around them and for a moment it was as though everything were still.

Lancelot's hand went to the hilt of his sword. Then he realised what he was doing and dropped it.

"Arthur," Merlin stepped between them and his hand went to Gwen's shoulder. "Listen, I've built up a lot of knowledge concerning remedies which will help Gwen get her strength back as quickly as possible. And, between you, me and Lancelot, do you honestly think there's the slightest possibility of her coming to harm?"

Arthur glared hard at him, then turned to Lancelot. "What say you?"

"I've no issue with this, sire."

When Arthur exhaled it sounded like a huff. "If it looks as though anything's going to happen to you at all, I shall make arrangements for you to be taken back to Camelot and that I will not back down on. Understood?"

Gwen nodded. In her eyes was the same determined fire Lancelot saw in Arthur and once again he knows what brought them together in the first place.

Arthur turned to Merlin. "Go and help her prepare a horse."

Merlin smiled and nodded. "Sure." His hand remained on Gwen's shoulder as he led her away towards the stables.

Arthur leaned on the saddle of his own still horse and watched Lancelot as he tried to look busy. But everything was already prepared so he didn't do it very convincingly. "You know," Arthur said. "I think Merlin might be a worse influence on you than I first thought."

"I do agree with what he says," Lancelot replied. "Our first priority is to find Morgana, and now it's joined with ensuring no harm comes to Guinevere while she's still recovering."

"Hmm." Arthur turned back to watch Merlin and Gwen as they went around the corner. There was a smile on Merlin's face, small but reassuring, and Gwen rested a hand on his arm. "Tell me a few things before we go, Lancelot. What do you understand of what we're about to set off to do?"

"I understand that when I returned to Camelot I became a part of something with a missing piece. As much as I care for you, I can't be the one to heal the pain caused by it. Lady Morgana is the missing piece and the only one who can stop that. And before that happens, we need to find her."

"Good answer." Arthur nodded.

"While I'm on it," Lancelot said. "I have absolutely no issue to Gwen coming with us. She already has so much will if she's able to get up and have herself ready so soon. But I do feel uneasy about leaving Camelot like this."

"Don't think it didn't cross my mind," Arthur looked back down at his saddle. "But I know who I can absolutely trust and there are ways for word to get to me should my immediate return be needed. Until then, we'd better find Morgana as soon as we can."

Lancelot looked at Arthur's thoughtful gaze and had no doubt in him.

"My other question, Lancelot. If you only answer me honestly once more, it's to be now." Arthur looked up and their eyes met. "At any point did you ever suspect you were acting only as a replacement for Morgana?"

Lancelot didn't answer right away, although he wanted to. Instead he thought carefully, paying close attention to how his mind reacted to what he remembered. When he knew he was entirely sure of his answer, he said: "No. I was never familiar with her, but I don't think I can ever be what Morgana was to you at all."

"One Morgana is enough, there is absolutely no way I'd ever allow another one." A smile flickered briefly across Arthur's face. "You're not what Morgana meant to us, Lancelot, because you're someone else. Something the same, yet different. No better, no worse."

"I'm sorry. I know. I didn't mean it like that."

Arthur stepped round his horse and to Lancelot's side. He looked around, finding nobody else near them, before leaning towards him and lowering his voice. "You broke a few hearts when you left those years ago. I thought Merlin was never going to stop pining after you."

Lancelot remembered the look he saw on Arthur as it had dawned on the then-prince that he was leaving. "I'm back now."

"Keep it that way."

Arthur was so close it would only take a small movement of Lancelot's head to kiss him. But out in the open it was far too large of a risk. So he had to be content with feeling a quick touch to his arm before Arthur moved away.

xxx

When they left Camelot, Gwen rode to Arthur's left. Merlin stayed close beside her, ready to take action should her health start to deteriorate again in the slightest. Lancelot was on Arthur's right. He found his gaze kept going from what was ahead of him, to watching Gwen, making sure she was still sitting tall on her horse even though the shadows under her eyes still looked so dark.

He was going into the unknown again. He had been ever since that night he ran away from the flames licking at his back and the screams of his parents in his ears. The beginning of this journey felt almost the same as all those other times. But it was also very different. He had never travelled while wanting to protect people this much before.

Lancelot quickly realised he wasn't just watching Gwen, but keeping an eye on Arthur and Merlin as well. They were all hurt, he realised. That was why he would travel with them and do what he had to.

It was more than a good enough reason.

_**END**_


End file.
